


All Those Tears I Cry

by write_in_ice



Series: Nightly Drabble [4]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Distance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Inspired by Music, Letters, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 22:46:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/write_in_ice/pseuds/write_in_ice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles is in the hospital after the divorce.  All he wants is Erik by his side but all he finds is a letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Those Tears I Cry

**Author's Note:**

> New game! Guess the song this fic was inspired by!

_Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh..._

                The rhythmic moans slipped into the darkness of Charles’ mind. It was a flicker of consciousness-a hint of awareness. He knew the sound. The way it rippled over moistened lips, slipped through a daring tongue, and hung in a lusty throat-the feeling of hands and sweat, and flesh; the taste of salt and skin.

 Images joined the sound-snippets of memories, there for an instant and then gone. A bright flash of light.  Metal twisting. Fire.  Perfect, haunted eyes.  The images began to fade as the memory of a sad grin floated across his mind. Slowly the darkness broke and his eyes fluttered.  The moans of his mind blended seamlessly into the beeping of a heart monitor and Charles found himself staring at the ceiling of a hospital room. Over the weeks, he had come to know every inch of it.  

                “How are we feeling today?” She stroked his hand and brushed his hair from his face. Her touch was sweet and loving but Charles yearned for the hard, calloused hands of another. Every breath he took burned. Every movement sent a shock of pain, yet in his legs, he felt nothing.  Those were not the words she wanted to hear. He wanted peace and quiet but could sense all the tears she had cried and guilt, so he pressed his lips into a tired smile.

                “Peachy darling.”

                “You look pale, Charles.  I should call the nurse and...”

                “There’s no need, Moira.”

                “But if something is wrong...”

                “Moira, stop.”  She shifted back in surprise as his voice boomed in her mind. _This is not your fault._ She looked down. _I don’t blame you._

                “An itsy bit of a headache and a bad dream. That’s all it is.” She nodded and pulled her hand from his. “Nothing more.” He paused. “How long have you been here? And don’t lie to me. I can easily find out.”She stayed silent. “Go home, Moira. Get some rest.” _Please, just let me be alone._ “I’ll be here when you get back.”

                “I could...use a shower and a cup of coffee...You’re sure you’ll be alright?”

                “Perfectly.”

                She picked up her purse with a smile and kissed his cheek. “Oh, I almost forgot. This was left for you.” She handed him an envelope. Charles recognized the writing immediately.

                He whispered “thank you” as she shut the door behind her. The envelope simply read Charles and the man’s heart skipped a beat as he ran his fingers of the precise marking. He slid his finger under the flap and lifted the glue.  A metallic chess piece fell into his palm and he smiled. As he unfolded the letter, tears began to drip down his cheeks.

**_Charles,_ **

                There was no emotion to the start—no flowery words or purple prose—only his name.

**_You know I had to go. You have always known who I am and what I am fighting for. You have seen my thoughts clearer than most and I cannot change them.  I cannot believe in your vision. We have seen what humans can do and I will not sit idly by and wait again for the destruction of my people. You are wrong in this, my friend. One day you will understand just how wrong._ **

                Charles gripped the thin paper as he read those words and balled his fist in anger. There was so much he wanted to scream, so much he would have said, but Erik could not hear him. He had walked away. Anger turned to sadness as he continued.

**_I never belonged with your x-men, Charles, but I will regret, until the day I die, that I cannot spend my life by your side. I would go to the ends of the earth to hunt down those who have caused you harm and yet I am the monster who has done the most.  It hurts me to my soul to know I have caused you pain. Whatever I do in this world and however our paths shall cross, I will never regret anything more than that._ **

                Charles swallowed as his eyes blurred.

**_You are the first man to truly know me. We are different, you and I, but so much the same. Rightly, you may never forgive me for what I have done. I accept that, but...I still love you._ **

                “ _Love you_ ” Charles mouthed as he read.

**_So, I can’t let you go so easily. Please Charles, if there is ever a time when you can look on me with a spark of what we once had, find me. You will not have far to go._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_Erik._ **

                Charles sniffed back his tears and rolled the chess piece across the palm of his hand. After a moment the piece froze, steadied, and stood on its end. Charles placed his hand on his temple and searched until he felt it—the familiar mind, the loss, and the sadness.

 _Where are you, my friend?_   Charles could feel the elation of Erik’s mind as the words touched him. Fear vanished at the word friend.

_Far enough._

_They will be looking for you._

_I will find them before they find me._

_Why didn’t you come?_

             Erik’s mind flooded with reason. _Fear. Panic. Loss_. One stood out. _I didn’t think you’d want me there._

             Charles smiled to himself.   _I will always want you with me, even when it can’t be so._

_I love you, Charles_

            A piece of a memory flashed between the two of them—two bodies entwined, the scent of sweat, a cry of passion.

_I love you too, Erik. I will always love you._


End file.
